Grunge and other musical micro-genres best forgotten

EVERYONE loves to slag people off behind their back, but who are the most popular targets? Find out with this guide.


The easiest target for spiteful gossip, but a deserving one too. Who wouldn’t get mad at some jumped-up dickhead who orders you around all day and only makes up for it by bankrolling your existence? Sure, they have more experience and expertise in your line of work, but that’s besides the point. They’re a knobhead.


A partner is someone you should share everything with, except for how much you bitch about them the second they leave the room. New couples will grumble about everything from splitting a bill to their beloved’s opinion on a movie, whereas long-suffering other halves will zero in on trivial shit like the way they breathe or how often they blink.


A co-worker is either an incompetent f**kwit who should be fired immediately, or they’re a pathetic corporate brown-noser who will do anything to get ahead. There is no middle ground. Annoying colleagues do provide lots of bitching fodder though, which brings people together way more successfully than any team-building exercise.


Just because you’re genetically related to them doesn’t mean you have to be nice about your family. Chances are they’re a random assortment of weird personalities you wouldn’t otherwise choose to hang out with, which is why you only visit them over Christmas or when you need money. Sadly you will become more like them the older you get.

Dickhead friend

Everyone has that one friend who is a total dickhead and should have been ostracised years ago. Just because they put a fiver towards your birthday present once doesn’t mean they are alright really. They’re a dead weight you need to let go of ASAP. And if this is news to you, then you are the dickhead friend in question.


It’s not hard to see why people moan about you. From the way you dress to the sound of your voice and your half-baked political opinions, you’re a rich source of bitching material. Plus the way you speak ill of everyone around you is pretty off-putting. No wonder there are several WhatsApp groups which refer to you as ‘that twat’.

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